Turkey............not just for Thanksgiving anymore!

Time was, (long ago in a galaxy far, far, away.......) people ate Turkey once a year.
They anticipated it, salivated for it, had strange little dreams about it that you didn't tell to anyone except your priest.....(I'm not a catholic, but on the sliding scale of dreams, I would imagine it to be no more than a two Hail Mary dream, not a big enough deal to trot out the short-handled cat-o-nine-tails and the Our Fathers).
At any rate, we ate turkey dinner, reheated turkey dinner, ate turkey cassarole, turkey ala king, and at last turkey salad...........

This was all before cholesterol became the dietary bug-a-booo of the baby boomers, ......and some brilliant snake oil salesman got the idea of selling turkey as the health food that was going to save us all from hamburgers and hot dogs and Kentucky Fried chicken.
Of course, the reality is that dark turkey meat has as much saturated fat in it as cheap bacon and that is what is generally sold as ground turkey meat.........
and turkey breast, infused with butter fat (you do know that is what self-basting means don't you?),and cooked with the skin on, is on the order of roast beef when you start counting calories from fat.
By the same token, tofu rolled in breading, deep fried in pig fat and packaged for the microwave is right up there with Big Macs and fries........

I said from the outset, that this wasn't a health food blog.......nor is it a politically correct one, nor is it exclusively about cooking.........it's about attitude, about food and life and fun and flavor. I am not a health food advocate because, for the most part I think it is a dishonest, corporate hype, a waste of resource and money milked out of those who can least afford it and a waste of time. In many cases it's down right dangerous. If it is not done just right, it can lead to protein shortages that cause the body to start eating its own protein.......at best a less healthy ratio of fat to muscle and at worst, anorexia. Do you really believe the sallow skinned, skeletal looking vegan is healthier than the well fed, rosy cheeked, energetic omnivore that humans have evolved to be.
......but for the most part, it has no balls, it has no juice, it's no god-damned fun, it's too fucking prissy.I believe in celebrating appetite, and pursuing pleasure,.........but I also believe in eating healthy foods and not commiting slow suicide with a dinner fork.
So, eat and enjoy, dont worry about it........but don't be a damned fool about it. I am not advocating gluttony.
Drink..........but don't drink so much that it is so much more than your liver can do to process the excess alcohol that it can't handle it's primary job of processing fat and cholesterol.
Eat bread.........and not that tasteless white shit .......real bread, made out of real grains........eat legumes (fucking beans people), and root veggies and green leafy stuff and fruits and nuts.
Give up the gatorade and the Sunny-D and the other over-priced Adult Kool-Ades and drink real juice..............
And get off your rapidly spreading ass and excercise..........walk, run, play, and sweat.
......but I digress.
So now we can eat turkey all year long.........and what's even better, you can find whole breasts and pieces of parts for as little as $.99 a pound all year long. Which makes it inexpensive, tasty, easy to prepare and present in a savory fashion, as the centerpiece of a nice dinner, or the ingredient in a tasty sandwich, salad or cassarole..............you haven't heard the last of ol' Tom Turkey with this entry...........no-siree-bob.

I like to roast meats, I really don't think you can do much to help the flavor of good meat...........you can mask the flavor of bad meat, but ........why? You can't remoisten or re-flavor meat you've over-cooked by boiling the piss out of it. I enjoy a fire seasoned meat and cook over hickory coals as much as possible......you may prefer mesquite or a fruit wood.........but the oven is just as good.

I don't want to keep repeating myself as to the set up of a Weber Kettle........go back to the rib entry.........or use an oven.

If you haven't guessed by now, boys and girls, we're going to cook a turkey breast.

Every summer, my Dad's side of the family gets together for a good old fashioned pot-luck gathering...........and I normally bring a roast turkey breast, torn into sandwich type shreds......

This year, I decided to make it into a turkey salad.........loosely based on a chicken salad that I had at one of the area's "trendy" restaurants...(read: one meal for the price of two, presented like some half assed edible floral arrangement, in a joint already turning back into a truck-stop diner by the time you find out it is trendy.......the glitterati having moved on rather than rub elbows with the lumpen proletariate).
I beefed up the recipe a bit......served it in satisfying portions with a nutritious and tasty bread product..........and adopted it as my own.

It all starts out with the good ol' $.99 a pound turkey breast.........properly defrosted and properly rinsed........remember food safety, dear readers......rinse the meat, wash the hands and tools and surfaces and go through the towels!




Now, we're going to take our trusty kitchen shears......or our nice sharp paring or boning knife.........and trim off all the nice, fatty, loose dangly, flappy bits of skin.
We're going to save this for now (that is another entry)......but trust kindly ol' Uncle Cecil on this one dears and put it in a little tupperware box or a ziplock baggie and stick this pile of fat and skin in the fridge.......we'll get back to it in a day or so.
Trim the skin around the neck, and the wing joints and around the cavity.....get all you can.




We're going to be minimalist here in our seasoning.........but this is my way. I am going to rub this down, inside and out with worcestershire sauce and salt and pepper.
You can use whatever floats your boat.........rubbed sage, garlic, olive oil, hot sauce, Lawrey's Seasoned Salt..........whatever.
We are going to put it on a roast rack and pop it into the weber, set up for indirect heat.
If you are using your oven, preheat it to 350 degrees (why, in the name of fuck, don't they have a degree sign on a computer keyboard somewhere?)
We have inserted an meat thermometer so that the point comes to rest in the thickest part of the meat, away from the bone, and situated so that it can be easily read.
It will be done in about an hour and a half or so.........
















If you don't have a roast rack, get one.........or get a couple of cake cooling racks and set them up over a cake pan.......anything so that your roast does not wind up swimming in the fat that will render off of it in the cooking process.
Jerry rig some skewers or a couple of chop sticks to get it up off the bottom of the pan...........
Of course,in a weber or other cooker you can just put it on the grill........but a rack will really come in handy when handling this and other meats on and off the grill or out of the oven. They are not expensive, practically indestrucible and will come in so handy that they are worth having as a piece of basic kitchen equipment.

The idea that birds have to be cooked to an internal temperature of 180 degrees has attained "Ten Commandment" status.........carved in stone by the finger of Almighty God...........and that is why most of us remember turkey as a dry and nearly tasteless meat (except as leftovers).........
It is also why there are about ten thousand different ways to cook a turkey, mostly designed to keep them moist........all of them to some degree or another doomed to failure by the fact that they are overcooked at 180 degrees no matter how you cook them.
I would almost believe that it was a myth started deliberately by the people that sell that gelatinous canned cranberry crap.........I like a good cranberry salad.....I regard the aforementioned substance as only a barely palateable means of helping to choke down a terminally dry mouthful of turkey.

Your turkey is going to keep on cooking for a while even after it is removed from the heat............at 180 degrees it is already overcooked.
Take it out of the heat when it hits about 155 degrees (or 160 degrees if you are really paranoid).......in about 15 minutes of "resting", the breast will have attained a temperature of about 165 degrees, which is "just done".
With pork, chicken and turkey, especially the leaner portions of these two meats, "just done" is moist and tender and flavorful.
Add one or two easy to read meat thermometers and an "instant read" thermometer......they are a must have item.
You can use the "pop up" timers.........but they are generally set for 180 degrees, and will result in dry overcooked meat..........I would rely on judgement before I counted on a pop up.




I prepared this at the end of July. With the holidays now just around the corner, you can easily convert this to a whole bird. Stick the thermometer into the thigh at its thickest point, being careful not to let the point come to rest against bone.
Cook a whole bird Upside down, Unstuffed, and Uncovered.
Adjust your cooking times up according to the package directions, with allowances for the fact that you are going to take it off the fire at 155 to 160 degrees. Don't worry too much about the bird getting cold on you........it can rest up to about 30 minutes while you prepare other things and still be hot when you carve it.
If you want to loosely stuff the cavity........use chunks of onion and celery top....or apples and oranges cut into wedges. Turn the bird breast side up for about the last half hour of cooking to brown the breast.
If you want that "cooked in the bird" flavor in your stuffing, cook the stuffing in a crock pot and use the drippings (after you've saved some back for your gravy) that you have caught in a pan under the rack and sucked up with a baster.
Just pour the drippings over the stuffing in the crock pot as it cooks.........safer, makes a better turkey, and the stuffing tastes like it was cooked in the bird.
It also makes the stuffing easier to serve and the bird easier to carve and handle.
Tricky, eh? (I'm practicing my Canadian........*winks*.)

So, now the bird is resting.........if you were to carve off a little bite in about 15 minutes or so, you would find it to be moist and succulent, with a lovely creamy texture you never thought possible in turkey white meat, and just bursting with "don't need nothing else" flavor.

Like ol' Justin Wilson used to say, "I guar-on-tee it!"

Alrighty, then........we've let that turkey rest and cool off enough to handle.............first,I ripped off a big enough chunk of the breast to save back for a turkey dinner for myself at a later time......but that is another entry.
Then I proceeded to tear the rest of the meat from the carcass.
I exposed and cut out the wishbone, which you can clean the meat from and let dry a bit to pull apart with your roomie, spouse, significant other or one of your kids.......and if you get the big half, you can make a wish! (hint.....just hold on and let them do the pulling, most of the time it will break on their side)

After I'd torn all the meat from the bone, I then diced it into about a 3/8 inch dice or a little bigger.......your choice. For you guys (assuming some average sizes) that's the size of the end of your pinky........Ladies, the end of your ring finger. That would describe the smallest you'd want to cut this.........we are going for chunky here.

If you are really ambitious and frugal, you can cover the stripped carcass with water in a pan, throw in a couple of onions and some celery tops, and simmer it for about an hour and a half to make a nice broth. Strain the broth and bag up in 2 cup portions and freeze them on a cookie sheet........and stack them like little flat bricks in your freezer to defrost and use as soup stock or for gravy.

Of course, if you are a couple or a small family, you can sit down to a nice turkey dinner at this point...(once you make the taters and gravy) and turn the leftovers into a salad like this.


tear up turkey


wishbone


3/8 " dice

Now I'm going to process the veggies........
I'm going to dice up and add celery, red onion, and green pepper.
I've used three pics of the process of chopping the green pepper to show you an easy way to accomplish this.

Cut the ends off the pepper and pop out the stem. Lift out the seeds and discard Cut the "barrel" three times along the membrane inside and trim the membrane and discard. Then chop or dice or chunk the remaining pieces into the size you desire.........this is an easy way to get the sort of pieces you need to create a julienne for a salad.

I would normally add raisins or other dried fruit to this, because that is what I like..........this time I added seedless grapes cut in half. You can add chunks of apple or pear or any other fresh fruit you prefer, but I would recommend fruits that are firm in texture.

I then added pecans roughly chopped into chunks..........you can use any kind of nut you like, or leave them out altogether.

A word about buying nut meats.........look for them on sale all year round. Don't wait until the holidays when they are $7.00 a pound. This is a safe stock up item, you know you will use them in cookies and things of that nature.........and if you have them on hand you will use them as a healthful snack. Nuts are high in fat, but it's the good fat. The kind of fat that keeps the hair glossy and supple, the skin smooth and elastic, and the joints and organ muscles lubricated. It's the kind of fat that doesn't pile up in the arteries and doesn't make the liver work overtime processing. It is the kind of fat that helps the liver and your body keep the bad stuff under control..........throw some in your cereal, throw them in your salads, mix them with dried and fresh fruits, if you own a bread machine (more on that later), throw a handful in with your next batch of bread when you put the mix in the machine.


celery


onion


green pepper


green pepper 2


green pepper3


grapes


pecans


chop pecans

I then folded in the Miracle Whip.............


stir in m whip

Use plenty of Miracle Whip to coat all the ingredients. You can use mayonaise if you prefer it, but if you are going to offer this at a picnic or buffet style supper, I would recommend Miracle Whip.......the higher vinegar content will make the salad safer if it is going to be sitting out of the refrigerator for any length of time, especially in the summertime.

The idea in making this salad, is not to wind up with a mushy conglomeration that you don't have to chew, but to have a meaty sandwich that is crunchy and has texture and sweetness and is hearty, and chewy enough to feel like you are actually consuming a meal. It also incorporates a variety of fresh veggies and fruits and nuts to constitute something healthful and nutritious.

I serve it in a pita pocket, which can be found in a variety in almost any grocery store. I like the whole wheat pockets, but there are onion flavored pockets, garlic flavored ones..........you name it.
The flour used in making even the plain white pita pockets is less processed than in the typical Wonder bread type white bread or that mushy brown stuff that is passed off as wheat bread to those who want to pretend that they are eating healthy foods.

Warming the pockets a few seconds in the 'wave will make them more pliable, less brittle and less likely to fall apart on you once you load them with salad.


turkey salad in a pita pocket served with an ice cold beer.........

The result is a meal in a sandwich, with little surprising bursts of sweetnesses and textures.......served with a bowl of tomato soup or cream soup of your choice, it makes for not only a colorful, different and fun, but healthy and hearty lunch for the manliest of men, the most delicate of ladies and the pickiest of children.

Enjoy..............

The next time we gather in the Captains Galley, we will make the monster apple pies that I also took to the get together..........another item just in time for the holidays.

In the days to come, we will revisit that chunk of turkey I reserved and those mysterious bits of skin and fat...........and rethink mashed potatoes for the big person (and the lazy person).

The summer had also to render a last session at the grill for chicken wings ala Captain so keep on reading............the Captain is back in the kitchen, and you are invited.

Thus endeth the lesson............